finding Reese.: a SAFELIGHT novel vol.2 (SAFELIGHT Series) Read online

  “Hey, don’t get defensive. It’s the doctor in me asking. You may not want to realize it, but dealing with PTSD the way you do is admirable. I’m just watching out for you, that’s all,” Faith counters reassuringly. “Okay, my coffee is ready. I have to go. Love you!”

  “I love you too!” I hum and end the call. I rest the phone against the counter and brush my hair, then style it in a bun. As I’m about to apply my lipstick, a sleepy and very tousle-haired Stryder walks in. Placing a kiss on my cheek and smiling softly, he walks over to the toilet, and I quietly slip out to let him get ready for the day.

  I dangle a paper sack with a toasty-hot bacon egg and cheese sandwich over Jackson’s head. He looks so peaceful asleep, and I’m so happy we will be the first people he’ll see as soon as he wakes up. After a few complaining grunts and groans, he finally opens his eyes.

  “Good morning, Jackson.” I whisper, placing a kiss on his scruffy cheek.

  Jackson smiles lazily, those remarkably crisp blue eyes looking tenderly into mine. The truth is, they remind me so much of Blake’s in a sweet, nostalgic kind of way. Jackson’s nose twitches as he sniffs the air in the room.

  “Good morning, Cat,” Jackson mumbles, looking eagerly at the paper sack in my hands. “Please tell me there’s bacon in there ‘cause damn, I smell it,” he says.

  I nod repeatedly as I retrieve the rollaway tray table and bring it to his bed. Jackson eagerly sits up and rubs his hands together with a smile on his face. Removing the breakfast sandwich from the parchment paper, I place it in his hand. Jackson uses his free hand to hold my chin, and regards me sweetly.

  “I think Jupiter is one lucky son of a bitch. He gets to see that sweet, adorable face of yours every day. You’re a good girl, Pardo.”

  My mind struggles with the idea of responding with banter, but for some reason, I simply accept the compliment. Oddly enough, my cheeks feel hot and it makes me smirk that Jackson Reese is genuinely trying to be sweet.

  “Well, look at you and your virginal blush, Catalina.” Jackson quips, bringing to surface the banter we are accustomed to. I giggle at his assessment and pat his shoulder.

  “Shut the hell up. Eat your sandwich before I take it away, smartass.” I reply, laughing, and place my palms over my cheeks.

  “Touché, Catalina. Touché.”

  As Jackson enjoys his breakfast, I sit on the chair beside his bed and watch the news. Minutes later, Stryder walks into the room with a paper bag in his hands, and Jackson eyes it suspiciously.

  “You look like a hobo, Jax.” Stryder smirks as he opens the bag and rests its contents on the tray table. “I got you shaving cream and a nice sharp razor.”

  “Well good morning to you, Sunshine,” Jackson says rather sarcastically. “Um, I don’t know if you noticed, asshole, but I can’t stand, let alone shave.”

  Without saying a word to either of us, Stryder walks into the bathroom and fills a bowl with warm water, dunking a washcloth into it. He brings the bowl over and wrings the excess water from the washcloth, then places it over Jackson’s face. That is when I realize what he’s about to do.

  Jackson sighs contentedly as a small cloud of steam lifts from the washcloth. Stryder looks at me and winks. I’m putty on that chair as I watch an act of supreme tenderness between the guys I absolutely adore. I blow a loving kiss to Stryder and he catches it, placing it over his heart.

  Removing the warm washcloth from Jackson’s face, Stryder sprays shaving foam into his hands and rubs them together to warm the lather. Then he dabs the cream all over Jax’s cheeks, upper lip, and chin. Once done, Stryder rinses his hands and, picking up the razor, he slowly shaves Jackson’s face.

  “I should get injured more often. I could totally get used to this.” Jackson smirks, crossing his hands behind his head.

  “Blow me, Jackson. Now shut up before I cut you. This is a new blade,” Stryder jokes, biting his lip and concentrating on the task at hand.

  I’m watching in rapt attention, looking at Stryder’s deft fingers remove Jackson’s scruffy beard. I’ve never seen Jackson without it, and now I’m dying to see what he looks like clean-shaven. It takes about fifteen minutes and a few changes of water before Stryder finishes. Tilting Jackson’s chin, Stryder inspects it with a smile. “Better?”

  Jackson touches his face and replies happily, “Yes, no more itchy beard. Thanks, bro.”

  Stryder pats him on the shoulder affectionately. “No problem, man.” Stryder says, but as I look closely I can tell there is softness in his stare like that of an older brother and a younger sibling. I swear my heart has turned into mush at the sight of them.

  Standing, I walk towards them and instinctively touch Jackson’s bare face with my palms. He looks so different young and very, very attractive. One of his pin-straight strands of blonde hair falls on his forehead and hovers over his eyebrow. Smiling, I whisper into Jackson’s ear, “You are so handsome.”

  Stryder clears his throat and frowns. Jackson winks and turns his face to look at me, and kisses the tip of my nose. “I know, but let’s continue our affair away from the old man here.” Looking at Stryder he raises his palms and says, “Shave it and they will come.”

  The three of us break into peals of laughter. A pretty young nurse comes into the room to replace Jax’s IV bag and notices his freshly shaven face. “Very nice, Mr. Reese.”

  I raise my thumb at Jackson in approval of the nurse’s comment, but Jax doesn’t react. Hmm. She must not be his cup of tea. Nevertheless he replies, “Thanks, doll.” The nurse smiles and leaves the room with a nice shade of pink all over her face.

  Jackson yawns and smiles drowsily. “Sleepy medicine,” he mumbles, and minutes later he’s fast asleep.

  “He’ll be out for a while. Why don’t we head out to the stores and get some clothes. I think we’ll be here for a few days. Sound good?” Stryder asks with a small smile.

  Nodding, I stand and walk over to Jax, place a kiss on his cheek and wish him sweet dreams. As we walk out of his room, I pause at the doorway and take a last glance at Jackson’s sleeping form. I can’t help but think he has a long recovery ahead of him, and while he’s been in good spirits, he has yet to talk about losing Chris and Rem. I’ve coped with survivor’s guilt for the past four years, and I know more than anyone if he needs to talk to someone about it.

  Stryder places a kiss on my hair, interrupting my thoughts. “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m just worried about him.”

  Stryder takes hold of my hand and kisses my knuckles. “I know.”

  After spending the afternoon at the small shops in downtown Golden, we return to the hotel exhausted with several bags with clothes and toiletries. While at the drug store, I distracted Stryder for a moment to pick up lady products before he could see what I was buying. I’ve been feeling yucky and it’s only a matter of days before that dreaded cycle shows up. With my purchases in hand, he surprises me with a bag of chocolate and a knowing smile.

  Lying on the sofa of our suite, I rest my head on his shoulder and it isn’t long before we’re both naked and in bed loving each other. Sated and completely exhausted I fall asleep curled up to his side.

  I am the first to wake up from our nap, and sure enough the dreaded cycle is here. Feeling less than enthused, I begrudgingly shower then dress in the loosest, most comfortable clothes I have. As I lay on the sofa I curl into myself, trying to mitigate the pain brought on by the evil troll kicking the shit out of my uterus, and after tossing and turning I abandon the sofa and return to bed irritated.

  Stryder’s arm reaches out for my waist and the urge to swat it away is great, but I know it’s only the hormones talking and not how I really feel. I hate getting my period because it is god-awful. After the miscarriage my cycle worsened and after losing one of my ovaries post accident, my body rebels with out-of-this-world pain.

  Raising his head from the pillow, Stryder places his head against my belly and kisses it. “What’s wrong, baby?” he asks a
doringly.

  I’m mortified at the thought of sharing with him such personal information. Surely he’s acquainted with periods given he’s a son and brother, not to mention he lived with his now-ex-fiancée . . . He grew up dancing around countless women, so I’m confident he has an understanding of what’s going on, but for some reason I feel shy and highly embarrassed to talk about it.

  “Is there anything I can get you? Heating pad, medicine? Chocolate?” he asks, and smiles wickedly at the last option. His thoughtfulness makes me want to kiss him long and hard; nevertheless my hot cheeks reflect my embarrassment.

  “You realize I was expecting this to happen, Cat. A part of me is relieved given our first encounters, and we’ve been together for a month now. Don’t feel embarrassed about it, baby,” he whispers, his lips kissing my belly again. As they do, my fingers run through his obsidian hair in wonder and appreciation.

  Exhaling a sharp breath, I speak. “Can I see you in a week? I’m a moody and unstable bitch when it’s that time of the month. I hate myself and the world even more.”

  Stryder chuckles loudly and sits up to hug me. “I’ll just need to over-emphasize how beautiful you are and stock up on chocolate just in case you take that inner bitch out for a stroll.”

  I smack his shoulder playfully and kiss him, happy at how normal this awkward topic gets carried out between us. He leaves the bed gorgeously naked and walks gracefully into the closet to retrieve an electric blanket. My eyes devour him hungrily, and it pisses me off that I can’t do anything about it for the next few days. It’s not until you can’t have something that it becomes the one thing you crave the most. The more I think about it, the more it pisses me off. Fuck.

  “Tsk, tsk, Catalina,” Stryder scolds with a smirk on his face. He moves his hands to cover himself and winks. “I suppose I should put some clothes on.”

  Feeling incredibly frustrated, I exhale loudly and throw my head back against the pillow. My thoughts go astray as I stare at the ceiling, trying to figure out creative ways to fast-forward time, and I come to the conclusion that I’m absolutely ludicrous. Stryder lets out a breath as he crawls back onto the bed and lays over me. The hardness of his sculpted body presses against my soft curves prompting me to close my eyes and sigh loudly.

  “I’ll try my best to stay away, but if you miss me too much there’s always the shower,” Stryder murmurs, and my eyes open wide with surprise.

  My hands reach for his and I lace our hands together tightly; he kisses the crook of my neck and whispers sweet nothings that make me look forward to the end my cycle.

  “I love you, Stryder.”

  “And I love you, Catalina.”

  After sharing kisses and copping a feel like teenagers, Stryder leaves our bed and showers before our evening visit to the hospital. Freshly showered, he looks amazing with his damp, straight obsidian hair skimming over his cheeks. Wearing grey jeans, a black undershirt, and a grey and black flannel shirt with his well worn Doc Marten boots, he looks so hot. I look down at myself and feel really blah. Nevertheless, I make an extra effort to look presentable and a final glance in the mirror confirms I look better than I feel. Exiting the bathroom, Stryder smiles, his eyes surveying my body hungrily; his arms wrap around my waist, pressing me flush against him, and he rests his forehead against mine.

  “Could you at least try to look less appealing, Catalina? I don’t want to look like some junkie jonesing,” Stryder whispers against my lips.

  His words make me feel wanted−something he has done since the very beginning. I trail my tongue over his lips, and then gently tug his lower lip with my teeth. From the back of his throat emerges a sexy growl which makes my belly flutter.

  Stryder takes my hand and cups his erection with it. “If we didn’t have plans already, I’d say I’d pick you up and fuck you standing in that shower, Catalina. Cramps will be the least of your worries.”

  The way he is looking at me makes me want to say screw the hospital visit and have him fuck me instead, but at the same time, it’s rather odd for me to consider being intimate during that time of the month. I never have, but the fact that Stryder apparently doesn’t mind it one bit makes me love him a tad more. There are some things I’ve never done with anyone before and this is one of them. A part of me looks forward to exploring many firsts, and at my age, with my experience, that’s a rare thing. Avoiding temptation, we trek towards the lobby holding hands en route to the hospital.

  Our visit with Jackson is pleasant. Kaelan brought in a few things for him, including a video game console. I sit next to him and we play a virtual snowboarding game, Stryder leaving us alone to play like two kids. Time passes by too quickly, and the young cute nurse kicks us out again. This time, she shares a knowing look with Jackson. I smile inwardly, but keep my assumptions to myself because at the end of the day there’s nothing that would make me happier than to see Jackson find happiness just as I have with Stryder.

  All those years of ranting from Faith make total sense now. She simply wanted me to experience the same excitement and happiness she found when she met Matt, her now-fiancé. Closing Jackson’s door behind me, I see Stryder looking at his phone with a forlorn expression on his face. As I walk towards him, he looks up and smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. In such a short amount of time, I have learned to decipher all of his mannerisms and right now I’m certain something is bugging him and I think he’s afraid to tell me. While I’m itching to know the cause of his discomfort, I’ll let him come to it on his own terms.

  Arriving back at the lodge, Stryder makes good on his promise to make love to me no matter what. At first, the thought of us being intimate during that time of the month makes me cringe, but with his tender kisses and affectionate embrace I give, and I’m pleased that I did. Running water is key, and call me crazy, but my cramps ease up after our little shower rendezvous. Sated and sleepy, we call it a night and fall asleep; our bodies cocooned next to each other’s.

  “I’m going to need a few days, Simon. With the family emergency, my priorities have shifted a bit. If you want, start looking for someone else just in case. I can’t leave my family until I’m certain they’re okay.” Stryder sighs into the line, and pauses. “Simon, my family comes first, and if the client doesn’t understand that, then I’m not the right guy for the job. I can’t even think about going halfway around the world when I have two funerals to attend this week. Please understand, Simon. Surely you’d know this isn’t an easy time.”

  I roll onto my side as the morning rays of sun creep into the room. Stretching in bed, I look towards the window, where Stryder stands wearing nothing but a pair of flannel pajama pants that hang low on his hips. I can appreciate all of his delectable male form; those chiseled abs and broad shoulders, his Mediterranean skin making a wondrous contrast against his obsidian hair.

  Pressing a button, he throws his cell phone angrily against the sofa, and brings his fingertips to rake his scalp. “Fuck,” he mutters under his breath. He paces in front of the window for a moment, then sits on the sofa, completely unaware I’m awake and watching him. I rise from the bed and wrap the blanket around me and tip toe towards the sofa, where he sits with his forearm over his eyes. Sitting beside him in silence, I bring my hand to his hair and caress it, which makes him hum in response.

  “Sorry to have woken you up,” Stryder mumbles.

  “No need to apologize, Stryder. Is there anything I can do to help?” I whisper. He removes his arm from his face, and curls up next to me to rest his head on my shoulder.

  “It’s work. I have a queue of clients wanting to work exclusively with me, and I’m trying to find replacements. I’m overwhelmed, Catalina,” Stryder replies softly. Leaving my shoulder, he sits forward on the sofa and rests his head against his knees. “I wanted to take time off, and now it seems impossible.”

  “I understand, baby, but these opportunities may not present themselves again, you know? If you’re worried about Jax, don’t. I’m on vacation and have t
he next three months to help out with his rehab. I’m sure Kaelan and Kathy would appreciate the help. I’ll be home waiting for you . . .” I say reassuringly, but there’s this pain in his eyes and I want to get to the bottom of it.

  “I just want to spend time with you, Catalina. I just found you. I can’t find it in my heart to take a month-long assignment and not be with you. Just the thought of it makes me sick,” Stryder confesses, as he clears his throat.

  I understand where he’s coming from. I’ve enjoyed our company from the first moment we met on the plane on our way to Vancouver. Just thinking about not being together for a month makes my heart ache, but at the same time, Stryder has a career and he can’t walk away from it because of our relationship.

  “What worries you, baby? Being apart, or is it something else?” I ask, my eyes searching his. Judging by the way he’s looking at me, tells me this has everything to do with his past and not with me.

  Stryder kneels in front of me and brings his hands to rest on top of my thighs. He talks to my belly as if unable to make eye contact. “An assignment like this could make or break our relationship. I’ve seen it happen before, and my thoughts are a jumbled mess over it,” Stryder confesses, raising his chin to meet my expectant gaze. “Olivia . . .”

  My heart sinks to the pit of my stomach at the mere mention of Stryder’s ex-fiancé. I know she cheated and broke his heart badly. I don’t think Stryder is capable of hating anyone, but Olivia comes close. I can’t say I blame him, especially after the exchange I witnessed between her and Jackson on his birthday. Olivia Reese is not a nice person, and despite her apology at the hospital, I’m extremely cautious when it comes to her.

  “I took a three month job once. It happened a few weeks after I proposed. I hated leaving her behind in New York while I went overseas for my assignment, but it was a good opportunity with great pay and I knew that job could help with the cost of the wedding, so I didn’t think about it twice. I left, but felt like half of my heart was left behind in the city. Not a day went by where I didn’t consider quitting and going home back to her. She was everything to me at the time, you know?